Getting a healthy relationship: tactics of war

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Today is another grim day when I feel like completely severing ties with every faggot in this whole gay industry. It’s another day when my sales commissions are slow, and another snowflake closet liberal freelancer quit on me.

Because I feel like shit, we’re gonna talk about emotional manipulation. In order to get anybody to give you anything, they should want something you have. You need to approach multiple people with the same value proposition, be it your dick, or a business idea. When you find a person that shows interest, they usually telegraph this in many ways. They show emotion, ask questions, they’re alert and present in the conversation. But they could be faking their emotion, so you need confirmation of interest. Here’s how you can crack their facade:

First you hype yourself, and the opportunity you’re offering, see if they show excitement. Talk about the positives, exaggerate the potential, show proof of growth. If you are uncertain of their interest, nudge them; ask them a question. People who want something from you, will answer your questions. Utter an insult, see what comes out. If they are interested in you, they should be in the mindset to avoid risks of losing you, thus they will seldom counter your insult. You can also act cold and distant, make them feel impatient. When you’ve made them wait, and they come to you, that telegraphs interest. Don’t overdo this; if you’re genuinely interested in the person, let it show.

Every time you are uncertain about their emotional investment, or they are avoiding to answer your questions, you telegraph distrust; act cold, change your body language, threaten to take the goodies away. If nothing else works, get extremely emotional, and make a wild accusation, to force them defensive. On the defense, people talk, they spill their guts out. You have to get them emotional, to read them. Don’t let them hide their cards.

It is not advicable to use tactics of coercion any more than absolutely necessary. Use of the more brutal toolkit of persuasion; bribery, extortion, and threats, can be very effective, but it can backfire. You have to be very good at reading your opponents, if you decide to use force. Because using force is a gamble; you have to win, or you lose. My advice is to constantly practice, so you’ll instinctively know when to use which type of hammer. The objective matters more than how you got there, and the objective is to get these three things: the necessary information, a read, and a confirmation of interest. When you have them, you can start negotiating.

Tactically timed telegraphing of distrust is one of the most important skills in a negotiation. You can get people to divulge lots of information, but only in the circumstance that they want what you have. Don’t bluff. Be serious about taking those goodies away. If they don’t want what you offer, fuck them.

The above may sound extreme, but here’s the catch: you are working towards establishing a mutually beneficial relationship. That usually takes some tactics of war, because people are distrustful pieces of shit. People also never know 100% what they want out of life; emotions fluctuate, situations change. If you want a relationship, be it for sex, money, or whatever, you are not getting any slack in the real world. Fuck that bitch’s mind until she can’t live without your cock – she’ll thank you for it with a smile, slurping that dick cheese off her lip.

The relationship has to work for the both of you. There are no winners and losers in a social contract; if you are winning too much, you are losing. Because a relationship with lopsided power dynamics, even if you enjoy being on the winning end of that, will eventually break. If that’s fine with you, because you have a larger game in mind, that includes using lesser people as stepping stones, I’m afraid you may be a sociopath. If you are a sociopath reading this, I want to explain to you, why you should reconsider your strategy.

If your game is to play someone for sex, money, or information, you can do that, but the benefits you reap will be apathetic compared to rewards gained long-term. At deeper levels of trust, resources begin to flow cross borders without import costs. In a relationship, this means you will learn the deepest of secrets of the other person. You can combine your resources under one household. People in long-term relationships often say that sex gets progressively better over the years, as you learn to please each other. You can divide the labor on tedious tasks like cleaning, dishes, writing tax reports, paying bills. On rainy days, you have a person that will comfort you. You will have each others’ backs. You can start adventures together, and have fun. You won’t just be using each other, but be the best of friends: that’s the sole point of life.

Translated into a business relationship, replace sex with profit. You probably won’t be fusing your businesses together under one brand, but you can share business tricks, your insights, and share your connections. If you’re an affiliate marketer like me, you will learn the store inside out, making it increasingly less of a struggle to sell product. There are many, many tangible benefits to cultivating a healthy long-term relationship. Look, what a beautiful hand-crafted banner to my sponsor otonaJP. How about a click, for luck?

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I advice you to work towards a social contract, that makes both persons stick around for a long time. You should play towards a stable status quo, without either of you acting in ways that constantly force the other to weigh the pros and cons of staying. Work towards spending more time planning your next adventure together, instead of your next battle move.

If the balance of power in a relationship ends up lopsided, and one participant is gaining more of the social contract than the other, you need an effective toolkit to bring the balance of power back into the relationship. You cannot keep your feelings to yourself, you have to instigate an argument, and blast out your honest feelings. Test if the person leaves from the real you – if they do, fuck them.

You need to have a mind for manipulation, so you won’t be manipulated. Healthy cynicism is good to have, because situations can change, and people are selfish. If there was suddenly more incentive to betray, than to trust, you could get stabbed in the back. Have a plan for when your relationship dissolves, so the dissolution of the contract will be civil. Don’t lose half your shit, because you didn’t have the balls to write a prenup.

The endgame is to win. Long-term relationships yield the greatest profit and happiness. You want to master the mindset of a manipulator, to survive the more extreme circumstances, to have defenses against manipulation. But prioritize learning to be persuasive and diplomatic, so on peace time you can happily hide your tools of war. On deeper levels of trust, which you naturally enter in a long-term relationship, you two will eventually be playing with your cards open, making all this shit I wrote, completely useless – thank God.

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